7QT11: Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Lately, I've been keeping up with Better Than Eden. And while I love the boost it gives me - the positivity, the beauty, the sheer whiteness (although I usually skip some of the descriptions of all that amazing homemaking so I'm not too discouraged), it just isn't how life goes in our household. In fact, if I were to keep a blog along those lines, it would have to be called Something Like Bejing on a Particularly Smoggy Day, or Comparable to the London Underground at Rush Hour.  Maybe it's because I'm British and raised on Monty Python, but somehow I only manage to look on the bright side of life when things are at their worst. Here are seven vignettes of our days...

1. Bath Time
A serene baby splashing in the tub? I think not. All our children hated their first few baths with a vengeance. During Alcuin's second bath, he screamed through being undressed by his sister while I tried to fill the bathtub, 'aided' by our cat, Odie, who has an abnormal obsession with water. Here he is below. The second picture is him still trying to get a drink even though the tub is occupied by a screaming baby. I would have shown you the baby, but the picture I got was Full Monty and I don't think he'd appreciate that being on the internet for eternity.

*His name is supposed to be Odysseus, but he turned out to be stupid rather than cunning, so we had to downgrade him to Odie.

2. Reflux
He doesn't have it as bad as his sister did, but it's pretty impressive. There is spit up on his clothes, my clothes, heck, everyone's clothes, the floor, the bed. Probably on the cats, too, but they have white fur anyway so it doesn't matter.

3. Night Time
I decide to nurse the baby back to sleep *quickly* at 2am. He decides instead to fill his nappy. We stagger to the changing station. He pees over everything. Then spits up. Then pees again. I change his clothes. He spits up on them. I change him again and get him back to the bed, where he promptly spits up over the sheets.

4. Memory Loss
I have trouble thinking of the right.. what do you call them?  Oh,words.

5. Pediatrician Visit
Somehow, in my postpartum haze, I agree to an 8.30 appointment. Of course the baby doesn't sleep the night before.  When the nurse calls us in, I try to hold my head high and walk past all those parents who look about fourteen and are staring at the couple who've brought their grandchild in. It's been so long since I've seen our pediatrician that she's gone blond. Later, my husband tries to cheer me up: "We might have been the oldest parents, but until that Asian woman came in, you had the smallest butt." Thanks, dear.

6. Lowered Expectations
My daily goal is to have breakfast and be dressed by 9. I do mean a.m. If the baby is half dressed by lunchtime, that's a bonus.

7. Gender and Species Confusion
I'm not used to having a boy. I call him girl. Or sometimes Odie, I'm not sure which is closer. Yesterday, I held him up to the mirror and proclaimed "There's Beatrice!". Oh well, gender fluidity is popular now, and maybe I'm just head of the curve on species fluidity.

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7QT10: An Alcuin-pedia

We debated for a long time whether to go with Alcuin as a first name for our son, mainly because of others' possible reactions. But when he was born he was definitely Alcuin. I like to think of it as a special name for a special baby, or an ancient name for a child with ancient parents :). So, to celebrate our nerdiness, here is a mini Alcuin-pedia.

1. The name, pronounced AL-kwin, is an ancient British one (well, Teutonic, but we'll go with British). It means "noble friend".

2. The most (only?!) famous Alcuin in history is Alcuin of York, ca. 735-804 AD. He was sent to York cathedral school as a child, and remained there as a teacher and then headmaster. On a journey to Rome, he met with Charlemagne, who was sufficiently impressed to persuade Alcuin to lead the palace school at Aachen, in which even the Emperor and his wife enrolled along with their children. One of the foremost scholars of his time, Alcuin was a key figure in the Carolingian renaissance. He is credited with restoring Latin as a literary language and with developing the miniscule script which, among other things, made it easier to copy mathematical texts. Though more a teacher than an innovator, he is also the only name of note in mathematical history in this period. It was said of him that "wherever anything of literary activity is visible, there we can with certainty count on finding a pupil of Alcuin's."

See - how long did that take you to read?

Note the uncanny lack of resemblance

3. Here is a contemporary depiction of Alcuin of York

4. Famous Alcuin quotes:

• He who does not learn when he is young, does not teach when he is old
• Man thinks; God directs
• Oh how sweet life was when we were sitting quietly... among all these books

5. Alcuin loved libraries - he established a great library at Aachen, and at Tours, where he retired to be Abbot at Saint Martin's monastery. One of his poems celebrates York and its library (sadly destroyed by Viking raiders after his death).

6. The Alcuin Club, formed in 1897, promotes sound liturgical scholarship. I'm waiting for our complimentary membership.

7. Although I didn't know this at the time, our Alcuin was born at the very time Alcuin of York was being commemorated in my church's noonday service. And the vicar who will christen him in England is a member of the Alcuin Club. So there you go - a name that was meant to be.

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7QT9: The Waiting Game

What does one do while pretending not to wait for a birth?

 1. Read something BIG
After coming across happy readers of Kristin Lavransdatter for maybe two years, I got a copy of the Norwegian trilogy, which won the Nobel prize for literature in 1928. One thousand pages of a historical (medieval) novel in the tradition of a Norse saga. I always thought that the concept of Ragnarok could only come from a people who spent half the year in the dark - I think the same goes for the reams of introspection and general sense of fate in this story. I have to say that some of Krtistin's interminable mental self-flagellation did get to me - by half way through I was beginning to sympathize with her feckless husband. On the whole, though, a read to satisfy grown-ups, as Virginia Woolf would say. It will take you to the heart of medieval Norway, and into the hearts of two people passionately in love and completely ill suited.

2. Tackle the almost-final frontier of decluttering
... in the shape of our wine closet aka living room cupboard. I forgot to take a before picture, but to give you some idea of the overall clutter, here is a picture of the living room after I recently rescued a flying squirrel from the cats:

I did not buy the boxed wine.

And here is the Konmari-ed cupboard: Not a squirrel in sight.

The final frontier, by the way, is photographs, but I don't have a spare six months for that yet.


 3. Become an independent trader
Our area has several great swap/sell Facebook groups, one exclusively for all things children. I've managed to sell my daughter's American Girl doll plus paraphernalia for a couple of hundred dollars (after she Konmari-ed her room) plus pick up some cheap baby items. We're giving her a cut on the principle that she should learn early that her unwanted stuff is worth money.

Lovely jubbly!

4. Spend too much time online looking up signs of labour, even though I know the only real sign is the appearance of a baby at the end of it. Start to hate Braxton Hicks.

5. Revisit my television youth
We were sporadically watching All Creatures Great and Small, but now we're getting in an episode a night. My younger daughter wants to be a vet so I thought she'd appreciate the series - and she loves it. Being an accurate portrayal of the British professional classes in the 30s, there is almost perpetual drinking. But boy... are some of those episodes really almost 40 years old? Something apart from the MCMLXXVII at the end of the credits that tells me I'm older: I would have had a thing for young Tristan Farnon (Peter Davison) first time around - now older brother Siegfried (Robert Hardy) is looking pretty handsome.

6. Wait, just wait...
Sometimes feel hopeful, sometimes cry a little...

7. And be rewarded
Alcuin Edward St John, who, at three days past his due date, is obligingly our earliest child ever!

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Review round-up

I'm putting my affairs in order/salving my conscience by catching up with with shout-outs and reviews I've been promising for months. Yes, I have critiqued, beta-read or edited these, or have other connections with the authors, but I'm also standing by their talented writing. I'd like to say I'm amazed by the rubbish put out by the big publishing houses versus the quality I so often see from smaller publishers or in self-published work - but no more, alas. So, in historical order, here are:

V.L. Smith - The White Spider of Savignac

The official blurb: When Sir John FitzAlan, lord of an elite mercenary company, is rewarded with the Aquitainian barony of Savignac by Richard Lionheart, his future seems straightforward enough: restore a neglected estate to readiness for war and make the best he can of an arranged marriage to its baroness, Mellisande, a woman he has never met. 
Twice-widowed Mellisande, however, is in no mood for a third marriage. Far from the demure chatelaine John expects, she is an expert vintner and herbalist – skills her people, and the local bishop, suspect she used to murder her two previous husbands.
As John’s disciplined soldiers clash with the unruly local people, and relations with his wife grow colder, John begins to wonder if the tales told of her are true. Will he be Mellisande’s next victim?
My two penny's worth: For those of us who are no longer twenty, Ms. Smith creates a mature hero and heroine you can connect with from the first pages of the novel. The setting is richly and believably detailed and the secondary characters fully fleshed and engaging. Having read other works-in-progress of Vicki's, I can attest to her particular talent in creating sexy vikings :) I especially appreciated the pace of the story - she avoids the current pressure for break-neck speed and develops a plot you can actually savor. I managed to read and enjoy it while still in the throes of morning sickness - what higher accolade could there be?

Diane Scott Parkinson - Ring of Stone

The official blurb: Rose Gwynn is determined to study as a physician in 1796 in England, a time when women were barred from medical school. When she prevails in assisting the local doctor, Rose uncovers a shocking secret that will threaten Dr. Nelson’s livelihood. Servant Catern Tresidder returns to the Cornish village to confront the man who raped her and committed murder. After Rose’s sister is betrothed to this brutal earl, Catern struggles with her demons to warn Rose of the truth. Rose’s attraction to a man far beneath her further complicates her situation. Three people fight society’s dictates to either face ruin or forge a happy ending. Through it all, the ancient stone circle near Rose’s house holds the key to her family’s past, and is positioned through the myths of Cornwall to save her sister’s life.

My two penny's worth: Ring of Stone is a romance by the strict literary definition: a story of love and adventure in a setting where the natural and supernatural coexist - here, the juxtaposition of emerging modern medical practice and the lingering magic of ancient Cornwall. Diane's prose is several cuts above the average romance novel, and the subplots make for a satisfyingly complex read. If you like Ring of Stone, check out Diane's latest Cornish novel, The Apothecary's Widow. Like White Spider, it features a mature hero and heroine the rest of us can relate to.

Amy Dupire - god-thing and other weird and worrisome tales

The official blurb: A Northern transplant teenager chafes under the culture of her Southern U.S. high school and creates her own deity. A reanimated corpse joins a zombie crawl, and stuffed animals spill the beans on their darkest secrets. These award-winning, YA short stories offer curious insights into human nature with humor as well as an unsettling view toward its darker truths. In this collection of tales, you’ll find fortune-telling pancakes, second-tier superheroes, and the occasional possum. 
And it may make you think twice before opening the kitchen cabinets.

My two penny's worth: I've read a lot of Amy's work, published and unpublished, and I love her oddball, dark, humorous take on life. As the blurb says, several of these stories have, deservedly, won or placed in writing competitions. It's hard for me to pick a favourite, but "Key Lime Pie at the Nightmare Diner" and "The Pancake Reader" would definitely be contenders. For young adults or preteens, depending on your child's maturity level/ threshold for the slightly scary.

7 Quick Takes v.8: Reasons to be Cheerful, 1, 2...7

1. I submitted my final grades for classes at the weekend. No complaints/pleading/wheedling for grade changes from my students - in fact, I had two thank yous. I'm done until August!

2. Just thinking of the topic title reminded me of the Ian Dury and the Blockheads song.

3. A new princess. The girls and I approve of the name Charlotte Elizabeth Diana. I did remark that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were in trouble if they had another girl, as they've used up so many royal names, but my younger daughter came straight out with Victoria Caroline Alexandrina. You saw it here first, folks.

4. I managed to make it past my last big 'task' before my own imminent baby - the two hour trip to Jackson to the Mississippi Star student/teacher awards for academic excellence. Quick parental boast - our daughter was an All-Star.

5. It also meant I could visit a real lingerie shop for the first time ever, to get fitted for some decent bras. The lady was lovely, professional, listened, taught, and found the perfect choices.  I walked out feeling amazing. Who knew the right underwear could improve your posture so much?

6. No hung Parliament in the UK - good news whatever one's political leanings.

7. My daughter's pet rat doesn't have terminal cancer - just a plain old mammary tumour that can be removed for a mere $300!  Oh, wait...

For more Quick Takes, hop over to visit Kelly at This Ain't the Lyceum. And check out her post on Mother's Day crafts that mothers will actually want!

7 Quick Takes 7: A life-changing saga of tidying up.

A  seven-part mini saga of our life with The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo.

1. I come across this title via This Ain't the Lyceum. As someone who enjoys putting off organizing by reading about it, I investigate further. People are enthusiastic, scathing or downright sarcastic. "I'm number 250 on the library waiting list," others bemoan. What can be so polarizing about a book on tidying? Now I have to read it. Fortunately, the arm of a university inter-library loan system reaches far. I have a copy in my hands after two weeks.

2. To summarize: Marie Kondo (of the KonMari method) recommends you sort by category rather than room (all tops, all books, all mementos etc.), and all at once rather than bit by bit. You handle each item individually and only keep what "sparks joy". Some people seem upset or nonplussed by her attitude that items like socks have feelings, but this doesn't bother me because I have been caught talking to the dishwasher am culturally sensitive.

3. I let my eleven-year-old daughter see the book. I know this is dangerous because she has inherited a trait from my husband’s side of the family that may charitably be called "great force of will". Over the course of two days she gets rid of about two thirds of her possessions. I have to bite my tongue, because I’ve read the parts of the book that tell her A) mothers are likely to scupper her plans and B) younger sisters are tragic victims of having stuff forced on them by elder sisters. It takes me another three days to sort through her piles and nearly sends me into labour.

4. My elder daughter picks up the book casually on a weekend visit home. After a short while, she sets it aside. “I can’t read this book,” she announces. “It will compel me to reorganize my entire life, and I don’t have time.”

5. “You should read it,” I suggest to my husband. “After all, you like Naruto and that's Japanese.” I know the connection between anime and a tidying book is tenuous, but it’s worth a try. And Naruto apparently simultaneously owns no possessions yet has an apartment full of rubbish.

Not quite feng shui

I look around the house. “We have too much stuff,’ I sigh. “No we don’t,” my husband snaps back. “You got rid of it all.” He is afraid that I’ll run out of stuff to discard and turn a critical eye on him.

6. I stare mournfully at my closet, longing to free myself of half my clothes, but I'm about to be the size that Simcha Fisher so perfectly described as "shut up, I just had a baby". I throw out some token items that I'm convinced won't "spark joy" even if they're the only things that fit me one particular week. Our bookshelves got purged when we rearranged furniture at Christmas, so only a few items there. I wander round the house desperate to find piles off stuff to throw out. Maybe my husband is right after all.

7. The inter-library loan period runs out. I type up notes from the book (but keep them on the computer so I don’t add clutter to the house) and return it reluctantly. I spend a couple of weeks trying to detox, haunting websites and bookstores in hopes I'll find a copy so cheap I can justify buying one. But will it spark joy?

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7QT 6: Lessons from 1962

I was at an estate sale the other weekend and I picked up a copy of Seventeen magazine from 1962, thinking it would be a fun Easter gift for my elder daughter.  Here are seven things I learned, but first, a quiz: do you recognize this guy?

1. The right amount of raccoon or nutria fur makes an outfit. Or you can go all-out for Australian opossum and South American cat.

2. Thought abbreviations were a curse of the internet age?  TWYI - talk your way in - was the code for getting into college classes without having to test in. Does not knowing that make me a twink (out of date) or a boink (stupid person)?

3. Your bowling game not up to scratch?  Perhaps it's your underwear. Try perma-lift panties.

4. On that subject, girls should be spending the summer before college sewing name tags into their underwear. I hope it's because someone else was doing their laundry and not because they were losing their underclothes around campus.

5. Talking of campus, Princeton University reported $200,000 worth of petty theft from their college store over the past two years. It was a cooperative, so those top-notch Ivy League students were stealing from themselves.

6. The victim mentality wasn't heard of. Having trouble with your stepmother?-What have you done to make her feel welcome? Your boyfriend looks to others for advice?-Maybe you're too focused on yourself.

7. Finally, my husband looked at the cover girl and began humming a rift on a Beatles' song: She was just seventy, you know what I mean...

Answer: Bob Dylan. Really.

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