I am Jane: On Re-reading Jane Eyre

 

'Reader, I married him.' 

Four words in English literature that never cease to send a thrill up my spine (and threaten a tear). I discovered Jane Eyre around the age of fourteen: I was instantly captured. Those were simpler days, pre-YA literature, at my all-girls' grammar school. Our surging adolescent emotions found expression in the Brontës and Georgette Heyer, while a few more daring readers devoured Mills and Boon novels. I fell in love with Mr Rochester, of course, and would have been off to France with him in a trice. When the BBC fortuitously put out a Sunday tea-time serial of the novel, my best friend and I watched it religiously. After the episode when Jane leaves Mr Rochester, we phoned each other and sobbed down the line, much, I suspect, to the amusement of our parents, who got to listen in because of course there was only the one family telephone at that time. (Timothy Dalton is, by the way, Mr Rochester. No other.)

Fast forward several decades. I had not re-read Jane Eyre for maybe fifteen to twenty years, yet I still cite it as my favourite novel. This began to nag at me – I should pick it up again. But fear held me back. What if, in middle age, it disappointed? Could I bear to lose those feelings? On the other hand, after a year of pandemic, what was left to crumble around me? I took the plunge.

Reader, I was not disappointed. Jane is still the archetype of every heroine for me. She possesses a fierce integrity that supports her whatever her outward circumstances, and she refuses to relinquish it for anything, even the love of another human being. It's a quality that one cherishes perhaps even more in one's fifties than teens, when time and the world has buffetted you on the outside, and got part way under your skin. As an adolescent, I may not have not appreciated the full import of Jane's refusal to be a man's mistress in the Victorian age, nor did I understand Mr Rochester's failing of locating his integrity outside himself (if that's not a tautology), in Jane, but her acute sense of justice spoke to my own.

But more happened as I plunged anew into Jane's world. I began to realise, with astonishment, and not a little shock, that Jane Eyre has been the blueprint for my life. How much was I drawn to a character that fitted me so perfectly, and how much is her influence? At this distance, I honestly don't know. As mentioned, the integrity at the core of her being has always been central to me, a childhood sense of justice that has not deserted me. On a less elevated level, my idea of romance has remained Brontëan: the brooding hero, the seemingly frail but inwardly strong heroine, gothic situations. And, my standard marriage advice for my daughter is, 'Make sure he doesn't have a mad wife in the attic.'

On a disconcerting note, the novel's style has apparently influenced my own. Though I recalled no specific scenes when writing my own modest novel, A Dorset Summer, I did reference the novel a couple of times, since my heroine is a governess. Apparently, that awakened a subconscious memory, because I can now see several passages that owe their style or content to Charlotte Brontë. Incidentally, it makes me wonder whether Daphne Du Maurier's Rebecca, so clearly a rewriting of Jane Eyre, is also a subconscious homage. Du Maurier certainly never admitted it was a conscious decision.

Further embarrassing confessions. I married an Edward, although he has always been a Ted. And, yes, my son's two middle names are Edward St John, but, I swear, St John is also a name on both sides of my family, and I was honouring a favourite uncle, not a literary character.

Jane Eyre not a perfect novel. In my older years, I am uncomfortable with the fact that Mr Rochester must essentially be emasculated in order to learn his lesson. And, admittedly, some of the dialogue strays too far into Victorian dialectic. But oh, in these depressing pandemic times, my heart is soaring once again with Jane.

Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong!–I have as much soul as you,–and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you. I am not talking to you now through the medium of custom, conventionalities, nor even of mortal flesh;–it is my spirit that addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the grave, and we stood at God’s feet, equal,–as we are!